Ljubica Popovic | May 14, 2014 | May 14, 2014 |
TeSaxton Washington |
Memories |
Lil' Derek |
Tracy |
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow nor sun without rain, but he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.
God doesn't give us what we can handle God helps us handle what we are given.
Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass it's about learning to dance.
Love life as it is not as you want it.
Live well laugh often love much.
What we call an accident may be a well planned event by God.
Our lives should be focused on what we have not we do not have.
Tracy |
The Rainy Day
The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall.
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.
The day is cold, and dark and dreary;
It rains;and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
And the days are dark and dreary.
Be still,sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain most fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.
Tracy |
Almost 1 1/2 years since Willy has left his family,friends,Kumovi,and his wife. It feels like an eternity on 1 hand and on the other, time has gone by so fast. I continue to think of Willy first thing in the morning, right before I fall asleep and all day long-every day. I don't know who I am or who I have become. I continue to have this void in my life that can not be filled. It is amazing how in the blink of an eye my life and everyone else's, life has changed permanently beyond anyone's control.
I try to focus on the positive and be an optimistic as we all should. Easier said than done. We all need to experience the negative as well as the positive in life. With each experience in life we grow and learn a lesson. Death is a funny thing that brings out the best and worst in people. It casts a light on the truth and makes life blindingly clear. We need to try and live life without regrets. God decides when it is time for ourselves to move forward, when it is time to leave this life. Death makes us fall apart and then we have to rebuild ourselves. Willy died and I am not the same person anymore, I will never be that same person again. Without loss we do not appreciate what we have. Falling apart is what must happen so that we can than put ourselves back together, in a new form. We can not have regrets -we learn from our experiences,they make us who we are and we we aren't supposed to go through life without making mistakes. Letting go of our regrets helps us move forward. We have to forgive ourselves before we can forgive others. Growth and change are what we can not escape in this "game" called life. Without pain no pleasure can be felt. Pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses our understanding. All of life is a constant state of change. Death wounds us, but wounds are meant to heal, and given time they will. Do I really believe all of this? Yes, of course, but applying it to my life is the hard part.
more memories |
Ljubica |
Moving? I knew who to call. Car needs to be fixed? Guess who I called? Ran out of gas...yes, you got that call too. Too many memories to recount. Thought about how you came at midnight to bring me gas years ago when I got stranded on Old County Line Road on New Years Eve. I was so glad you answered the phone, instead of Mom or Dad. I remember us driving the Volkswagon bug, arguing which one of us should drive it to school. I don't know why it was such a discussion, considering you didn't even have your license yet! Well, that never stopped you. Sneaking the classic Ford Fermont to Dairy Dip. I remember when we drove out to Prudue to pick up Chuck and you drove the Subaru home. I think you were 15 at the time.
So many cars, so many memories. You helped me pick out my first Volkswagon...the lovely bronze 1981 Rabbit. You found a replacement windshield on my next Volkswagon, the Fox. You also "fixed" the Volkswagon Golf, the two toned one, when I was in Chicago. Imagine my surprise when one day the front grill fell off. When I called you, thinking that someone stole it, in classic Buca fashion you replied, "Yeah, it probably fell off because Dad and me attached it with a wire hangar." Of course!! Why didn't I think of that! Oh, there are other memories too...the lug nuts that fell off the "other" Golf,(while I drove it) the Volkswagon Truck that caught on fire on the toll road...the volkswagon van.
I think about the first motor bike you had, and the lesson you gave me on how to drive it. I crashed it; you laughed. Memories of riding behind you on the four wheeler, next to you in the dune buggy and tagging along on the snowmobile. You sure liked your toys! I lost count how many you had!
Lots of cars, lots of fun memories. Even now I want to pick up the phone and call you when I hear some funny noise in my car.
Ljubica
Tracy |
My Vish,
10 whole years together!!!! This May 2nd it would be 11 years, this June 5th 4 years married. I remember at some point thinking we would never get married! We had so many memories together good bad and sad- all part of a true relationship.
You taught me so much, and I guess that was to prepare me for the future of being alone.
You introduced me to off roading with the Toyota, 4 wheeler, Odyssey and sandrail. This summer at Silver Lake was bitter sweet. I could actually hear your voice telling me how to ride. I know you would be proud that I finally drove the Toyota. I think I scared Dawn, but it was fun!! Mario has the sandrail you both were working so hard on. Who better to have it?
We both experienced so many joys and good times. We had the birth of our two beautiful nieces, Savka and Milana. You even introduced Savka to 4 wheeling. We were both there for our 2 wonderful cousins, Addison and Anna. You moved up in work from BP to Mcdaniel's to RASK. You supported me through the rest of nursing school and all of my shift work. We traveled to Iowa to see the nation's largest indoor tropical rainforest and outside zoo. We went to Alabama. To Key West with Mario and Dawn. We went to Alabama and numerous times to Illinois for concerts and other festivities. We traveled for 2 weeks in Florida to different places in Florida. We were both a part of Mario and Dawn, Derek and Robin, and Mike and Sarah's weddings. We went to ND football games, Blackhawk games, and Cubs games. You even came to 2 of my mini marathon races. You always brought me flowers, unexpectedly and for no reason. Our wedding was amazing and beautiful. We were there to see Ristan, our god child and were honored to be the Kumovi of Ozzie and Mimi. Lilly was also born.We were overjoyed when your Baba moved to the States. We were there to see Andy have a child of his own, Katherine.
We also endured the death of your grandpa and Baba Rada and my grandfather. We watched my grandma's health slowly deteriorate. We had our disagreements and fights. We remodeled(and still are) our home. You and Andy drove me crazy so many times with your secret plans, like buying the Spitfire!!
The things I complained about, I now find myself doing, like taking the taxes in the last minute, showing up late, being on my cell phone more than I want or at not the best of times.
It gives me some comfort in knowing you led a very great life. You worked hard played hard and everyone loved you. I know how much you loved me and did not want to leave me, family and friends. I can only partly imagine what a wonderful peaceful relaxing time you are having in Heaven. I think about you all day every day and it is a struggle every day even to get out of bed. My heart aches without you by my side and I keep thinking I am living someone else's life or I am dreaming. Apparently God has a plan for everyone. Why I am left without you and the house to finish I don't know. I just have to hold on until the day comes where it finally becomes my time to greet you in Heaven. I hope you will always be by myside, watching over me and helping me make good decisions. I can't imagine going on without you, so I just live 1 day at a time. That is all I can do. Yes, it is unfair and hurts tremendously. I love hearing 1 of your favorite songs or seeing something that reminds me of you.
Me, friends and family miss you so terribly. This is so hard to accept.I am sure you know you will never be replaced or forgotten.
I am happy you are with my grandma, your grandpa, Baba Rada, my mother and the rest of our family and friends.
Vish, you are the very best thing that has ever happened to me. Even though I hurt so bad now, at least I had you for 10 years. We will be together again someday, which I anxiously await. Memory eternal.
With all of my love always and forever,
Tracy