Viseslav a.k.a "Willy" Djordjevic

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it. So I am going to tie you to my heart so I never lose you.

Willy,

What can I say...where do I start? I could tell so many stories. We grew up together, did EVERYTHING together, were always together everyday for so long. Every good time I had, you were there. Every bad time I had, you were there. Instead of writing a single memory of you I offer some keywords.  You know what I'm talking about: Your grandpa letting you drive us around, usually to Wings & Things then to McDonald's or Taco Bell. Your mom letting you take the car to take me home (age 13 or 14) even though I only lived a couple of blocks away and it always took us at least an hour. Doing donuts in reverse. Hockey. The Knight Rider. "Hey you...I remember you!" You teaching me to drive your dad's Honda in the church parking lot. The cows tounge (still grosses me out). Me flipping your go-kart. Lucky. My Grand Prix. Your Bug. The hill off of Blake Rd. Mt. Baldy. The Hollywood 15's. HAM Fest. Pine Lake in the boat. The duplex we saw explode. My Buick you so brilliantly dubbed the "G-Ride". Cecil the Deisel. 9-volt battery. "Your Friends". "Because I can". Perry Park and the Chrysler. Stone Hands. The Sullair Bowl.  944. The Trailer Days. You not telling me THAT YOU WERE DATING MY COUSIN!

I could go on and on. I have no one to reminisce with now. I always thought that we would be the last two standing.  

 

As I have said before, so much of me died with you that night. At least we had that final conversation just before it happened. It was such a privilegde being your friend for so many years. I will NEVER let you be forgotten. You weren't just some guy...you were Viseslav Djordjevic, who was so proud to be Serbian and proud just to be. I miss you more than you could ever imagine. It will never be the same without you.

 

Looking forward to seeing you in Heaven "where the bars are always open..."

 

Your loyal friend,

 

Derek

Well, the holidays are over....they just weren't the same....nor will they ever be the way they were.  We're moving into 2008 with only our memories of times spent together.  I remember last year when you bought dad the meat slicer and we all had fun in the kitchen cutting and eating the smoked meat.  What a precious memory to have, especially now.  You were always so thoughtful with your gifts.  There are so many Christmas's to remember and treasure. 

 

 Then there were our Christmas's as kids, the times we went to Badnje Vece and waited for Dad (and later you) to be the first one (male) to enter the house with the Badnjak. We  would always save some of the badnjak for Gramps and give it to him the next morning. Remember, we had that fake tree that looked a little more worn each year but we had so much fun decorating it with ornaments we made in school.  Mom and dad still probably have the tree in their basement.  They were terrible looking ornaments, but they were ours and that's what mattered.

 

Christmas is over, the new year has started and I can't believe that we aren't still sharing it with you.  Thank goodness that we had 31 years to share all of the Christmas's that we did.  It just doesn't seem like it was enough.

 

Last year for Badje Vece you, me, Tracy and Chuck stood and talked to Father John until we were one of the last people to leave.  We joked and teased each other about our church attendance.  Little did we know that it would be the last year any of us would be celebrating Badne Vece there. 

 

 This year, we celebrated Badnje Vece at the new hall they remodeled at church.  You would have appreciated the effort they made in remodeling it and making it into a small reception hall. In fact, when Chuck and I were going on a tour of the new sunday school rooms, the woman who showed us mentioned that it was too bad that the sprinkler system couldn't be hidden.  My first thought was, "My brother would have an idea." Just as I thought about that, Chuck blurted out, "My brother-in-law would know what to do with that."   Yes, you certainly would.  You always had lots of ideas.....that's one of the things that made you so special.....

 

Missing you and your ideas (even the ones we argued about!)

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Ujka,

 

I remember you were driving me around on the four wheeler and dune buggy.  I told you to go faster.  You did not go that fast but you went faster than deda.  I remember when I saw you at Baba Goga's house and you played with  me.  You played a puzzle of around the world. I remember your house.   I swam in your hot tub with Adison. I remember you coming to my birthday party and I remember you colored with me at baba and deda's.  

 

I hope you had a great christmas with God and Jesus.

 

Love savka

NEW YEARS EVE

 

As families do, we had our own traditions and customs that we always came back to year after year.  One of those was one that we started on New Years Eve.  Ever since we were old enough to go out by ourselves on New Years Eve, we would always make sure to call home to Mom and Dad right after the coming of the new year.   I don't know if we started this because we knew that Mom would be up worrying about us, because we felt guilty for being out while our parents were at home or if we just wanted to share the birth of a new year with our parents.  I think it was all three.  We simply wanted to connect to the people who formed the backbone of our lives.

 

After a while, it became one of our yearly traditions.  Immediately after the stroke of midnight we would call home and wish mom and dad a happy new year and then we would call each other.  In fact, we raced to see who would get to mom and dad first.  I remember calling and getting a busy signal (before call waiting was around!) and affectionately thinking that you beat me to "THE CALL."  After call waiting, I could expect mom to click over to me and tell me that you were on the other line, or vice versa. 

 

Our yearly ritual got to be easier in the age of the cell phone.  We could call each of them separately and then call each other.  I don't now what we did before we all had cell phones.  It seems so long ago, but I guess we would locate a phone wherever we were at and call.  We must have done that because, every year, like clockwork, we would make those celebratory new years calls, to wish each other a happy and prosperous new year. 

 

I remember your call to me and Chuck at the 2007 new year celebration.  I had just gotten off the phone with mom and dad. We were in Chicago and you were at the Pub with Tracy and your friends. The minute the phone rang, at 12:02 a.m., I knew that it would be you.  Maybe it sticks out in my mind because it was the last call on New Years that I would receive from you.

 

This year, I know that there will be no call from you.  It seems like such a small tradition, but a special one that we carried year after year after year.   It is precious because, no matter the physical distance between the four of us, it always brought us close as a family. I will miss that yearly new year call more than I can say. 

 

This year, we start a year without your rambunctious and happy voice on the phone wishing us a happy new year.  This year, I will hear that special voice in my heart.  It will forever remain as a special memory, a tradition we created, carried out and  shared for many, many years.  I hope that your new year is a blessed one in the new place you are at.  Some day, I know that we will be able say, "Happy New Year" to each other again!

 

Voli te,

Ljubica

Last year we were all together and this year there is such a gaping hole.  The seat where you should be sitting is glaringly empty.  I miss not talking to you, figuring out what to get mom and dad or planning where to have Christmas.   I see the little Cabbage Patch premie that you and Tracy got Mila.  She loves that doll.  I remember when she asked you to put a special dress on her baby "Minja" and with your big hands, you stuggled to get that tiny dress on the little doll...such a precious memory.  Such a cute site, seeing you putting on the flowered dress as Mila patiently stood looking up at you. 

 

I also see the Strawberry Shortcake poncho and scarf that you got for Savka.  It makes me smile whenever I see it, thinking how much it is like "you" to make a poncho for her, even one that came down to her ankles!  Always the do-it-yourself guy!  So sweet....but you always have been. I cherish those memories.

 

There have been countless times in these last few months that Chuck was talking about some project or another and it was on the tip of my tongue to say, "Why don't you call my brother," a phrase I have repeated so many times over the years that it is permanently part of my vocabulary. Always, it was "Call my brother,"...Now it is just a wish that can't be fulfilled.  I pray that you are ok and that you are still with us with your amazing spirit.  This Christmas, and every other for that matter, just won't be the same.  But, then again, life will never be quite the same without you.  We love you!

Christmas 2007

 The first Christmas without you. It is soooo terribly difficult and depressing. I really many  days can't believe you are really gone, and forever. I can't even begin to describe the pain I feel. I keep hoping this is some nightmare and I will wake up and there will be your smiling face.

 The RASK  Xmas party was tonight, I am quite sure you were missed. I had to work 3-11p so I couldn't go. I can't wait to get all of this Xmas stuff over with. I am not in the "Xmas Spirit."

 The roads were really bad tonight due to all of the snow and on my long drive home all I could recall was the phone call from Hoobie and Mike driving really fast to the hospital and me calling Ljubica, your parents, Steve and all the events at the hospital up until the Dr. told all of us you had died. How ironic that my mom died due to our car being hit by motorcycle, and my dad being only 30 years old, as I was only 30 years old when you passed away from being on a motorcycle.

 Uncle Corney and Aunt Marie sent me a Xmas card:

Around the Christmas table there's an empty chair this year...The precious smile  missing of someone we still hold dear. And yet our hearts are hopeful, though the season's bittersweet, because we know the one we love has filled another seat. For another banquet table abounds with joy and love for those who've made the journey to be with the Lord above.

When you are early in your grieving, it's sometimes a challenge to get to the next day or even hour and then there are the times you truly feel you are losing your mind. And the same time friends who tell you "you'll get over it" will also tell you "time heals" -sometimes in the same sentence. Time itself doesn't. It's what you do in that time that will get you to a place where you are more glad that your loved one lived than sad they died.

Poem of Life

A shadow of joy flickered; it is me.

I told you I wouldn't leave.

My memories, my thoughts are embedded deep in your Heart.

I still Love you.

Do not for one moment think that you have been abandoned.

 

I am in the Light.

In the corner, in the hall, the car, the yard-these are the places I stay with you.

My spirit rises every time you pray for me, but my energy comes closer to you.

 

Love does not diminish; it grows stronger.

I am the feather that finds you in the yard,

the dimmed light that grows brighter in your mind,

I place memories for you to see.

 

We lived in our special way, a way that now has its focus changed.

I still crave your understanding,

and long for the many words of prayer and good fortune for my soul.

I am in the Light.

 

As you struggle to adjust without me, I watch silently.

Sometimes I summon up all of my new world to make you notice me.

Impressed by your grief, I try to impress my love deeper into your consciousness.

As you should, I call out to the Heavens for help.

 

You should know that the fountain of youth does exist.

My soul is now healthy.

Your love sends me new found energy.

I am adjusting to this new world.

I am with you and I am in the Light.

 

Please don't feel bad that you can't see me.

I am with you wherever you go.

I protect you, just as you protected me so many times.

Talk to me and somehow I will find a way to answer you.

 

Mother, Father, son, or daughter, it makes no difference.

Brother, sister, friend, husband-it makes no difference.

Whatever our connection -friend or even foe- I see you with my new eyes.

I am learning to help wherever you are, wherever I am needed.

This can be done because I am in the Light.

 

When you fell despair, reach out to me. I will come.

My love for you truly does transcend from Heaven to Earth.

Finish your life with the enthusiasm and zest that you had

when we were together in the physical sense.

You owe this to me, but more importantly, you owe it to yourself.

 

Life continues for both of us.

I am with you because I love you

and I am in the LIGHT. 

If Tears Could Build a Stairway...

If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I would walk right up to Heaven and bring you back again.

 

No farewell words were spoken. No time to say "Goodbye." You were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why.

 

My heart still aches with sadness, and secret tears still flow. What it meant to love you-No one can ever know.

 

But now I know you want me to mourn for you no more: To remember all the happy times, life still has much in store.

 

Since you'll never be forgotten, I pledge to you today- A hollowed place within my heart is where you will always stay.